watch

I was reading PW today and her "Top Movies" contest got me thinking about movies, and I realized just how much I love them. I seriously love movies. I love epics, love stories, dramas. I do enjoy a good, intelligent romantic comedy.

I wanted to think through my favorite movies - there are several... I can't pick one.

Lord of the Rings - I feel like this one is an obvious choice. I totally went through my LotR nerd phase in college. I remember when I was truly first introduced to the idea of it. I was at a movie with my friend, Elisa, when we saw the first teaser trailer for Fellowship of the Ring. It was a black screen that showed the flaming ring with the words "One ring to rule them all. One ring to find them. One ring to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them." I got chills. My mom read The Hobbit to us growing up, and we saw the cartoons, but the story hadn't made much of an impact on me. I think my age was a factor. Anyways, needless to say I was caught up instantly. I read the trilogy, and the Silmarillion. I read the appendices. I got into it. :) It was a fun phase.



Harry Potter - This was my next big obsession. I read the seventh book in 36 hours. I know people that totally had me beat, but I'm still proud of my accomplishment. Of course, I know now just how much time I had on my hands. :) It's amazing the perspective a child brings to your life.

I really did enjoy this epic series. More than I thought I would. I'm excited to read it to Andrew. I think I'll read each book as it grows with him. I'll start when he's 11 and we'll work through it. I hope reading aloud is a major part of our family life. I enjoyed it in my family, and hope to pass along the tradition.

But, this is about movies! I saw the 4th movie, Goblet of Fire before I read any of the books or saw any of the previous movies. I was hooked. The first one is probably my favorite one, with the 4th and 6th ones being close contenders. The others were ok... but the series itself is so great.

Love Actually - This one is probably a bit more controversial... mainly because of the amount of nudity. :) But, it's one of my most favorite movies of all time. It's feel-good at it's best. The soundtrack is fabulous. I love British humor. I love all of the actors. I love the theme of it.

A&E's Pride and Prejudice - I've landed on this as being my favorite version of this Jane Austen classic. I love the more contemporary, shorter version of it as well, but there's nothing to compare to this 6 hour mini-series. The portrayal of Elizabeth Bennet by Jennifer Ehle is, in my opinion, flawless. Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy? DROOL. Big time.

Almost Famous - I forget about this movie. I forget how truly amazing it is. And then it resurfaces and I'm blown away again by just how fabulous it is. I love how I'm surprised by it's existence and feel like I'm almost enjoying it for the first time again. Music... travelling musicians... people trying to live out their dreams, or just figure them out... Fantastic.

Once - I don't know if I'll watch this movie again... but it was a beautiful experience watching it. The soundtrack is by far my favorite original soundtrack. My friend Danielle brought this over randomly and said (in her very casual way) "Um, have you seen this?"
"No, but I've heard it's good and I've wanted to."
"You haven't seen this?!?" (She's not nearly as animated as me, so when she got all flustered, I knew this was serious business.)
"No! Let's!" (Or something to that effect.)

It was OK, until Glen Hansard belted out his song "Say it to Me Now". I was hooked. Everything from that point on was genius. If you haven't seen it, you should.

Sex and the City 1&2  - I love SATC. Years ago, Adam and I went to NYC with some fun friends of ours, Ryan and Denise. Denise was WAY into SATC. I remember her talking about how much she loved it and how she wanted to do a tour of their filming locations... I thought she was crazy. Until I started watching it. I was hooked.

Yes, it's racy... at best. It's gratuitous. And, it's feminine. It's fashion. It's relationship. It's vulnerability. It's just great. In my opinion!



This was by far one of the most fun posts I have ever written... for me. You should go watch one of these movies. Don't blame me for all of the nudity in some of them though. Don't worry - I cover my eyes too. :)

trust

I'm feeling a little sad today. Sad for failed relationships, heartache, sick children... just unfairness and hurt in general. Why so melancholy? I don't know. I just am.

For the first time ever, I cried about having to take Andrew to someone else instead of being able to care for him full-time myself. Now, the person who cares for him is one of the absolute best possible people - my wonderful mom-in-law. I love that he gets to spend that time with her. But, it still breaks my heart that I have to. I just wish I didn't have to do it. I think I was feeling especially bad about it yesterday because Andrew's been dealing with just general yuck as he adjusts to new food, and teethes, and is becoming more mobile. It's hard to watch him grow and experience the pain that goes with it.

Oh yes. I'm emotional. I even had chocolate earlier and I'm still emotional and sad! Amazing.

And then I think about a couple at our church, Rachel and Jeremy. I can't even begin to describe the heartache I feel for them. I can't imagine the tremendous pain and... probably anger and confusion. They have an absolutely adorable son named Asher who's dealing with CF. Now, they're pregnant with their second son, Paxon, and not only does he also have CF, but he also has a chromosomal disorder that could potentially take his life at a very young age. Even just typing that out makes me cry... crying out of the intense desire to make it right for them... crying in anger that this had to happen to them... crying for what will come.

I think about these things, and it inevitably brings me back to God. Why would He allow this? Why? Why is there so much suffering that is even more traumatic than this??? My rational response - when I'm speaking at myself - is to say "It's not God's fault... it's sin." And, I know this is true. God isn't playing around with us. God isn't evil, or ill-intentioned. But, I realize that as I answer with my pat, I-go-to-church-every-Sunday answer... I realize that I never allow myself to wrestle with truth. To experience the seeming injustice of illness in a child who hasn't even been born. The injustice of failed marriages and broken families. I go to my comfortable answers and am afraid to look deeper. I'm afraid of jumping off the edge and into the murky waters of doubt. I think I'm afraid I'll drown. I'm afraid that by asking questions, I'll somehow lose something. Maybe I'm afraid that God will be angry at me for questioning Him... or He'll take me around the world showing me His great works like He did with Job. "Who are you?" He'd ask. "Who are you to question me?"

But, I want to. I want to question. Or maybe I don't. It's scary. I want to trust Him. I want my questions to lead me to a deeper understanding of His character - His goodness. Although... just being really honest... it doesn't seem like a whole lot of goodness right now.

In all reality though, I know that I have to find child-care for Andrew because of the foolish financial decisions that Adam and I have made. Our consequence is that we don't get to have quite the family life we wanted. We chose to spend unwisely, so that's our lot. It's logical. It makes sense. And, in light of the fact that it's our sin that landed us here, it's amazing that we have it so good - consequentially speaking. And, Rachel and Jeremy can find comfort in God. I don't know how He'll do it. I don't know what He's going to do in their lives... but I know that He's good. And His goodness as their Father and Comforter will manifest itself in their lives in some way. I pray outright for the healing of this unborn baby boy. I pray for a big mistake made by all of these doctors. And, if he isn't healed, then I trust that Rachel and Jeremy will rejoice to meet Paxon again when they also meet Jesus face-to-face.

I think the most comforting thing I can think of is that we won't be crying anymore in Heaven.

my diet...

... consists mainly of Sour Patch Kids and these delightfully wonderful Ghiradelli chocolates my husband brought me from San Fransisco. Don't I have a totally wonderful husband?? He opened his bag and showed me a totally cute onesie he bought for Andrew, and I ooo'd and aahhhh'd over it. Then, he pulled out this large GORGEOUS bag of dark chocolate raspberry squares. I about died and went to heaven, snatching at them eagerly, exclaiming "I love you! I love you! I love you!" That's when he pulled out bag number two - milk chocolate squares with caramel. I almost started crying with happiness. "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! You DIDN'T!!"

Then he did it.

He made me cry. Because of chocolate.

He pulled out bag numero tres - milk chocolate with peanut butter. I cried. And rejoiced. And danced. Then I stopped dancing because deep down I was like "is my belly fat shaking??" So, I stopped.

But these chocolates are amazing. And, you'd be surprised to know that I haven't eaten all three bags yet! I'm saving them like precious treasures. The only reason I'm able to do this is because I purchased half a month's income in sweets for our trip before I knew about said chocolates. I even avoided buying chocolate thinking that it would just melt in the car. I changed my mind.

Oh! Our trip! It was delightful. We drove over 2000 miles total, took lots of pictures, and laughed about things that my mother would blush to know that we laughed about. :) And my mom doesn't blush at anything except too much... um.... humor about things like bodily functions, and "bedroom talk". Anyways, we had a really great time. We did hike for about 4 hours on Saturday in the rockies - it was so beautiful. Our hike was a 3 mile round-trip hike, going uphill the entire way there, and downhill on the way back. Our trip back was about half the time that our trip in was. Also, I was horrified to discover on our return to the hotel that our hike was considered "easy to moderate". If that was easy?!?! Then I'm... just... speechless. Because it was anything BUT easy, people. I actually think that I had a hard time getting started because I had a bit of altitude sickness. I drank tons of water and walked super slow. Lots of elderly people and small children passed by me with looks of pity. After a bit I started to feel better, and was able to move along nicely. I gave myself little internal pep-talks like "Just one step at a time. You can do this." and imagining myself as this totally B.A. hiker girl who does this thing all the time! I started to imagine what my hiking wardrobe would look like, which of my friends I would hike with on a regular basis... my imagination went wild. You'd think I'd be admiring the gorgeous landscape, the larger-than-life mountains, the picturesque lakes... well, sure. I was thinking about them too... when I was taking pictures and imagining that I was a professional photographer, hiking to remote locations to take award winning pictures of the Rocky Mountains.

Yeah. I know. You don't have to tell me that I should've stopped being Anne Shirley at least 10 years ago.

Anyways, the only thing about the trip that I could come close to complaining about was my own brain. I was so out of it. Since the beginning of my pregnancy with Andrew, my brain has vacated the premises. I can no longer engage in rational thought, pay attention for more than .5 second, or understand subtle wit. Too bad. Part of the problem this caused was my less than stellar navigation, and I also decided to format the memory card in my camera. I thought to myself "there's nothing important on here..." and bam! Gone. Pictures, videos, all gone. In a flash. I said "Ok, all better." and Adam was like "What do you mean 'it's all better'?"

"I formatted my card."

"You WHAT?!? Tell me you're joking."

"No... there wasn't anything on there."

"No, except for the 20 pictures you just took while we were stopped at that scenic outlook..."

In honor of former "WOW" jargon... "/facepalm"

However, my hero, Adam, recovered all those pictures for me, and saved the day. Isn't he the best ever? Not only did he save all my photos from death-by-airhead, but he also bought me chocolates. I simply adore him.