Bearing One Another's Burdens (Part 2)

"Kristie is my friend. Kristie is my friend. She's short and chinese. She sings and plays guitar. Kristie is my friend."

Isn't that the most amazing song ever?? I made it up on the spot one day while our little band, Come What May (don't ask...) was rehearsing at our church. We were checking sound levels and she asked me to play and sing something... and that's what came out! The piano part was amazing too.

I've known Kristie Braselton since high school... back when she was Kristie Chan. The transition from Chan to Braselton was rough, I gotta be honest. Kristie and I were in the same small group and our friendship basically started because I begged her to let me play piano in her little garage band. She resisted for a few weeks, and then finally caved. I was thrilled to say the least. Weekly rehearsals, late night trips to Denny's and... really, just great food... it all led to a great friendship. Kristie was the kind of friend that always had lots of stuff going on. So did I, so we were totally happy to hang out when we could, and happy to have our own things going on. I knew she was a close friend, but it was a bit of a surprise friendship. I think it was mainly because I thought we were so different, and that our interests were so specialized, that we couldn't really form a deep and lasting friendship.

When Kristie started dating Matthew, I remember thinking "....".

Matthew was a choir boy that played Seymor in Little Shop of Horrors. He was practically Validictorian of his class and defined "straight-laced". Kristie was a skater girl, to the core. I always imagined she'd end up with some skater boy that played grungy guitar and they'd spend their days playing and writing music together. Seems fitting, right??

Then they decided to get married. I remember trying to support her, but deep down I had my doubts about them. I honestly wondered if they'd really make it. After they got married, things seemed to be going well for them. I wanted to get married so much myself that I wasn't really in the best frame of mind to be supportive of my friends - or to understand their struggles as being as legitimate as my own. When this young couple started to experience early marriage struggles, I wasn't the most loving friend. I remember wondering what on earth Kristie had to be upset about... she was married, for crying out loud!! I listened to her talk about her frustrations and growing pains and tried to be sympathetic, but it really wasn't coming naturally. I remember actually judging her in a way for having troubles, rather than loving and supporting her through her tough time.

When Adam and I got married, we had a rough time... and that's putting it lightly. In fact, the first 3 years were really difficult. We somehow found our way to EVBC where the Braseltons were attending and actively serving. I was so grateful to have a friend that I knew. As I was sort of reintegrated into her life, I realized how mistaken I had been about their marriage. Not only had they survived the early years of marriage, they came out stronger and better, which was more than I could say about my own marriage. Adam and I felt like we were on rocky ground for such a long time, that it started to feel like things would never look up!

Kristie proved herself to be a faithful and forgiving friend. Whether she knew my offenses at the time or not, she welcomed me back to her life with open arms and a completely loving heart. I eventually confessed to her my judgemental heart and she willingly forgave me, which was a huge blessing and her friendship alone has showed me more about God's grace towards us than almost any other relationship.

Since then, my life has been immeasurably blessed by the Braseltons. Since coming to EVBC and serving under Matthew's leadership in worship ministries and now 7:ten, I've found my own ministry and found balance in serving the Lord with the gifts and talents that He's given to me. Kristie is my favorite person to have lunch with. I have so much fun eating out with her and the kids and I can't tell you how many amazing memories I have from those dates. Harper's "oopsie" moment in NYPD, Benjamin throwing food all over the floor, Bethany informing me that her name is "Cinderella" today... what great kids!!!! Kristie has also been a wonderful encouragement to me in my role as a wife. She always reminds me that she understands my struggles and helps me by directing me to scripture, or books that have helped her, or by simply relating to me. I hope that I can say that I have contributed as much to her life as she has given to me... it's hard to pay back that kind of love when it's given in such abundance.

Learning to love others more than yourself is a lifelong lesson... at least, that's what I've been discovering over the last several years. Kristie has been the example of sharing my burdens. She's walked in my shoes and can help me gain some perspective. It's so great to have such a tangible example of Godly love... a real glimpse into Biblical community and friendship. Thanks Kristie!!! And thanks God for giving me such an amazing friend!!